Albert Pride, the miller
Prudence, the miller’s wife
Melinda, the miller’s daughter
Jack, the miller’s son
Herbert, Alfred, Ethel, Harold, Mabel
At the Court:
The Lord Chancellor
Jezz the Jester
Julian the Jailor
The Four Musketeers:
Pierre, Gaston, Claude and Jean
The King’s Messenger
Ozone, the Goblin king
Rumpelstiltskin, Grumble-Grimkin, Horble-Wimpkin,
Figit and Migit, the pixies
Chorus of Villagers, Chorus of Courtiers, Chorus of Pixies
Chorus of Toys in the Nursery
The Village Green
Song 1 All freeze after the dance.
NARRATOR 1: Hello, everybody and welcome to our little village of Sodwick in the Kingdom of Sublimia. Allow me to introduce you to some of the important players in this little story. Here we have Percy and Melinda, two sweethearts who are not allowed to marry. Melinda is the Miller’s daughter. Albert Pride, the Miller is detested by the villagers for his arrogance and boasting. He will not allow Melinda to marry anyone but a rich man. However, as you will soon see, his boasting will be his downfall and will cause much pain for his family and for young Percy. But enough. I shall not give away the plot. Listen for yourselves and all will be revealed.
PERCY: I say Melinda! What fun these new fangled dances are, don’t you think?
MELINDA: Oh, Percy, you are such a hoot. You’re so old-fashioned, but I do love you.
PERCY: Then marry me, Melinda, and we shall run away to a secluded kingdom on some distant shore and raise a family.
MELINDA: But Percy you know my father would never allow it. We cannot marry without his permission.
(Other villagers begin to crowd around)
PERCY: And now who’s being old-fashioned? Why can’t we make our own minds up? We’re not children. Besides, I have asked your father for your hand in marriage and he has not actually refused has he?
JACK: Give up your dreaming, Percy. Father wishes Melinda to marry a rich man! You’re just a poor wheelwright.
PERCY: Always the over-protective brother, Jack. And Melinda is just a Miller’s daughter. What rich man would wish to marry her.
HERBERT: She is the prettiest girl in Sublimia. That must count for something.
ALFRED: I would certainly marry Melinda if she would allow me…
HAROLD: And I…
ETHEL: Stop it! Just face the facts, all of you. The Miller is too proud to let any of you marry Melinda. She is destined to die a spinster. After all the Miller would wish to boast of her riches. He could never allow her to marry a poor man.
MABEL: Why not marry me, Percy? I’m available!
(She gives a coy smile and a curtsy. Laughter from the villagers)
MELINDA: Why, oh why did I ever have to have such an arrogant, boastful man for a father. My life is ruined. I’m so miserable. (She sobs)
HAROLD: There, there, Melinda, cheer up. We can’t choose our fathers can we now.
MABEL: Anyone with a name like Albert Pride has got to have a problem, don’t you think?
(Enter the Miller with wife, Prudence in hot pursuit)
MILLER: Steady now, Prudence. One day you’ll crack my skull with that thing.
PRUDENCE: And not a day too soon, I say!
MILLER: Just a moment. Hold, hold.
(Jack grabs the rolling pin and restrains Prudence just as she is about to bring it crashing down on Albert’s head).
Before you act as judge, jury and executioner, you could at least tell me what my crime is.
VILLAGERS: General murmuring and remarks of approval
PRUDENCE: (Breaking free from Jack’s grasp and menacing the crowd) Just you mind your own business all of you.
MABEL: If you want us to mind our own business, you should bash him at home, not on the village green.
VILLAGERS: Shouts of approval.
(PRUDENCE is about to bash Mabel but thinks better of it)
PRUDENCE: All right, all right…I’ll tell you what this lazy good for nothing so-called Miller did yesterday. It was market day and he was supposed to load fourteen sacks of flower on the cart to sell at market. He was gone all day and half the night too.
(Laughter throughout from villagers)
And do you know where he was all day? Certainly not at market.
HAROLD: I saw him, Mistress, he was in the Nag’s Head all day. (Miller glares at Harold)
MILLER: Why you…you…
PRUDENCE: You’re too right he was. Boasting, showing off and telling tall stories, he was. (She bonks him once for each word.) Boasting, showing off and telling stories.
JACK: He put the sacks behind the mill, Ma. I saw them there this morning.
PRUDENCE: And now the chickens have pecked the sacks and the flour has spilled out all over the floor… and YOU are going to scrape it all up with this. (She produces a spoon) Starting NOW, NOW!
(Hits him again. Miller falls over cowering and covering his face with his hands. She freezes over him glowering at him)
HERBERT: I’ve heard it said that if you want to know what a girl will be like in twenty years you should look at her mother.
PERCY: (Aside) I think I could be persuaded not to marry Melinda.
(A trumpet blast fills the air)
ALFRED: Hark! A messenger.
ETHEL: How do you know that?
ALFRED: Come on! You’ve been in pantomimes before haven’t you?
(Enter the messenger with trumpet, handbell and handkerchief. He weeps loudly)
JACK: Why, what on earth is the matter, my good man? Is the King dead?
MESSENGER: (Aside) I wish he jolly well were. (To the crowd) You recognise me, don’t you? I’m the town crier!
(All groan at the poor joke)
Look at my poor feet. (Gasps of horror as he shows worn out shoes) Sunday in London, Monday in York, Tuesday in Winchester and here I am on Wednesday in (name of local town). Who would want to be the royal messenger? I would give it up tomorrow if I could get a pension.
(Ethel sobs in sympathy. All turn to see who is weeping)
Hey! That’s pretty good. If you ever want a job as town crier I could give you a reference.
ETHEL: I’m sorry. It was just the sight of your poor sore feet…What you need is a wife who would look after you and mend your shoes.
MESSENGER: I’m always happy to negotiate. (He starts to lead her away)
JACK: Hey, wait a minute! What about the message?
MESSENGER: Have you a message for me, how exciting.
JACK: No! Surely you have a message for us or why else did you come here?
MESSENGER: Why, of course. How silly of me. The King is out hunting and he is coming this way. He may require refreshment.
MILLER: (Still on the floor, looking dazed) The… King… is… coming.
PRUDENCE: The King is coming… here?
MESSENGER: Yes… HERE!
(The following lines crescendo and increase in pace as they rush around tidying and cleaning)
HAROLD: The King is coming…
MABEL: The King is coming…
HERBERT: The King is coming…
Song 2 Long Live the King
(During the song Albert finally gets up off the floor but is pursued around the stage by Prudence with rolling pin. Ethel and the Messenger become preoccupied with one another and eventually exit, pausing only to leave a message for the King on the front of the stage. The King enters just at the end of the song when the cast are frozen.)
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Rumpel Score Sample
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