Aladdin

Scene 1 Widow Twankey’s Laundry

DANCE 1 Chinese Dance, Villagers

HANKY: Hello, boys and girls. Is there anyone out there? I said hello boys and girls.

HUNKY: That’s better. Hey, Hanky, perhaps we should introduce ourselves.

HANKY: Sure. Well, I’m Hanky Twankey and this is my twin brother, Hunky Twankey. (Shows his muscles, oohs and aahs.)

HUNKY: We live here in a little room above this laundry with our mum and two brothers, Panky and Aladdin. You see, we’re very poor and it’s all we can afford. (Gestures for sympathy.)

HANKY: We’re much poorer than that, actually! (Gestures for more sympathy.)

(Enter a wimpish Panky.)

PANKY: Hi, gang!

HANKY: Panky, Where on earth have you been? We’ve been here for ages.

PANKY: I had a bit of bother with my transport.

HUNKY: What’s that? Did your skate-board break down again?

PANKY: Much worse than that. I borrowed Aladdin’s donkey, you know, the one with only three legs.

HANKY: Sounds more like a wonky to me!

HUNKY: Just a minute! I think I can hear someone trying a key in the back door.

(Panky goes to hide, Hunky goes to look.)

It’s alright, it’s only Mum, Widow Twankey.

HANKY: Look, boys and girls, Mum likes to have a good welcome when she arrives home. Could you help us?

PANKY: All you have to do is shout out ‘hello Twankey’ every time she makes an entrance. Do you think you can do that for us? (Reaction) I think I can hear her coming now. Ready? On the count of three. One, two, three…

(Enter Widow Twankey.)

ALL: Hello, Twankey!

TWANKEY: Ooh, hello everyone. Aren’t you just lovely to give me such a warm welcome.

(She is overcome and Hanky gives her a Hanky to wipe her tears.)

You know, I don’t really deserve it. (Big blow of her nose.) You see, I’m not really feeling myself at the moment. I haven’t slept for ten whole days.

PANKY: Really? You must be very tired.

TWANKEY: Not at all, I sleep at night. You see, we’re so poor we can hardly make ends meet.

HANKY: Yes, only today I said to Panky, ‘If you’ve got a pound in one pocket and a pound in the other pocket what have you got?’ Someone else’s trousers on!

TWANKEY: I wanted to cheer myself up so I went out to buy a dress. A lot of ladies do that, you know when they are feeling down.

HANKY: Show us the dress then, Mum.

TWANKEY: There is no dress. The manager of the first shop said he doesn’t give estimates… and in the second shop they recommended I go to the camping shop and buy a tent!

(She wails. Others Aah!)

PANKY: Perhaps you should take up gambling.

HUNKY: Yes, then you can change your name to Betty.

HANKY: I know, I’ve got a mathematical joke that should cheer you up.

(Others groan and hide faces.)

What do you get if you cut a potato in half and then divide each half into ten pieces?

(Panky works the answer out in great earnest, using his fingers.)

TWANKEY: I don’t know. What do you get?

HANKY: Chips! (Falls about laughing at his own joke. Others groan.)

TWANKEY: What sort of sons are you anyway, if you can’t remember your own Mum’s birthday? (Blows nose and sniffs.)

PANKY: Gosh, we’re really sorry, Mum. We’ve been so busy trying to catch up with all this laundry from the palace that we clean forgot your birthday is today.

HUNKY: How old are you this year anyway?

TWANKEY: (Pause, then modestly states) Twenty-two.

HANKY: How can you be twenty-two? I’m almost twenty-four.

TWANKEY: Have you forgotten? Twenty years ago I made a new year’s resolution; instead of getting older, I decided to lose one year off my age every birthday. Hence, I am a youthful twenty-two.

PANKY: I get it. Instead of having a birthday you have an UNBIRTHDAY.

SONG 1 The Unbirthday Song

(Enter Aladdin)

ALADDIN: Hi Mum, hi fellas!

OTHERS: Hello, Aladdin!

ALADDIN: Hello boys and girls. I see you’ve met my family. Aren’t they just weird?

TWANKEY: Aladdin, where have you been all this time? I expect you’ve been chasing some new girl. When you’re not chasing girls you’re dreaming about them.

ALADDIN: Well, as a matter of fact you’re right, Mum.

TWANKEY: I knew it!

ALADDIN: I have met the most wonderful girl this time.

HUNKY: (Aside) That’s what he always says.

ALADDIN: It’s true. We only met last week but we have fallen in love already.

(Twankey encourages the audience to aah!)

PANKY: (Joking) When’s the wedding?

ALADDIN: How did you know I’ve already asked Princess Jasmine to marry me?

(Realises he has given it away. Much reaction to this news. Twankey faints and is caught by Hunky.)

PANKY: But Aladdin, surely you know that anyone who so much as looks at Princess Jasmine is punished by death. Do you not fear for your life?

ALADDIN: Why should I be afraid? The princess will protect me. I would like to give her a ring but I haven’t any money.

HUNKY: Ring her after six, it’s cheap rate.

PANKY: I know! What about that old ring of mother’s….I’m sure she would let you have it. (Goes to get ring)

ALADDIN: What a good idea! All it needs is a little polish. (Takes the ring.) Shall I do it now?

HANKY: No, wait Aladdin! I really don’t think you should.

ALADDIN: Oh yes I should.

OTHERS: Oh no you shouldn’t.

ALADDIN: What do you think, girls and boys; should I rub the ring? (Reaction) Right then. Here we go.

(Rubs the ring. There is a flash and the Genie appears.)

Cont…

Performance History

Portmoak Primary School Kinnesswood, Scotland
Haltoin Lodge Primary School, Runcorn, England
Matrix Studio Theatre Group, Matrix Studio, Orihuela Costa, Spain
Holy Trinity School, Hackney, London, England
Termonfeckin, Ireland
Aladdin Laneshawbridge School, Colne, Lancashire, England
Baltasound School, Unst, Scotland
Downe Manor Primary, Northolt, England
Godalmimg United Church, Godalming United Church Hall, England
Lymm Methodist Church, Lymm, Cheshire, England
Act One Beginners, Portsmouth, Hampshire, England
Quail Valley Middle School, Missouri City, Texas, USA
The Russell School, Chorleywood, Hertfordshire, England
Bencubbin Primary School, Australia
The Linskill Centre, North Shields, England
Sevenoaks Primary School, Sevenoaks, Kent, England
Eastern Arizona College, Thatcher, AZ, USA
Coolum Theatre Players, Coolum Beach, Australia
Burgess Hill School for Girls, England
Priory Youth Players, Peterborough, England
St Michael’s Primary School, Belfast, Northern Ireland
Ardgowan Primary School, Inverclyde, Scotland
Breage School, Helston, Cornwall, England
Eaton Mill Primary School, Milton Keynes, England
Rosslyn Academy, Nairobi, Kenya
Swanbourne House School, Milton Keynes, England
Portfield School, Haverford West, Wales
Moorfield Primary School, Manchester, England
7Th Northern Island Girls’ Brigade, Belfast, Northern Ireland
Wilberforce College, Hull, England
Torkington Primary School, Stockport, England
Barnham Theatre Company, Thetford, Norfolk, England
Streatham ad Clapham High School Junior Department, London, England
St Bede’s Primary School, Rotherham, England
Waikowhai Primary School, Mt Roskill, New Zealand
British American School, Charlotte, USA
Wistaston Green Primary School, Crewe, Cheshire, England
Spring Grove Primary School, Isleworth, London, England
Ollaberry School, Shetland, Scotland

St Julie Catholic Primary School, England

Laindon Park Primary School, Laindon, England